Dear Community,
This letter follows my earlier open address to Jason Wilson and Dr. Alduan Tartt, where I challenged their narrative-driven calls for Black men to marry despite systemic mismatches. Today, I take that discussion further, diving deeper into the struggles of blue-collar Black men with aspirational dreams, the cognitive and cultural gaps they face, and the fading myth of “struggle love.” The stakes are higher now, and the data demands we face a sobering truth: while an “eligible Black man shortage” is often cited, mounting evidence reveals a surplus of ineligible Black women, reshaping the mating landscape in ways we can no longer ignore. The latest saga of B. Simone’s financial unraveling—once a queen of anti-struggle love—only amplifies this crisis, a juicy cautionary tale Wilson and Tartt dodge.
For the blue-collar brothers—tradesmen, union workers, and skilled laborers like myself—who rise at dawn with visions of growth, the dating pool feels increasingly out of reach. These men, defined by self-directed mastery and real-time achievements, bring a wealth of potential to relationships. Yet, they often collide with cognitive mismatches—where intellectual compatibility falters due to differing life experiences and expectations. A brother earning $70K with three years to scale to $140K might offer stability and ambition, but faces partners who prioritize instant status over shared progress. This gap is compounded by the “struggle love” ideal, once a cornerstone of Black resilience, now rejected by many Black women who, as seen in Mary J. Blige’s anthems and Ebony articles, seek established wealth rather than mutual building. This shift leaves aspirational men sidelined, their sacrifices undervalued.
The narrative of an eligible Black man shortage—often cited at 1.8 million fewer men than women nationally—dominates discourse. Yet, within the Gen X cohort, where over 600K more single Black women than men reside, dating app data paints a different picture. Platforms like BLK, tailored to Black users, reveal stark preferences: Black women receive the lowest response rates from all men, including Black men, while Black men rate Black women less favorably than other races. This suggests not just a shortage of eligible men but a surplus of ineligible women—those whose profiles, shaped by high standards or lifestyle choices (e.g., 56% obesity rate, 70% single motherhood), don’t align with male priorities. Assortative mating theory, showing educated individuals pair with similar partners (e.g., 83% of successful Black men marry Black women with comparable education), underscores this: compatibility hinges on shared traits, and current trends show a growing mismatch.
This mismatch extends beyond numbers to long-term planning, vision, and sacrifice—pillars I’ve lived by as a self-taught polymath turning trades into a cultural force. Relationships thrive when both partners share a similar outlook, if not identical goals. A brother planning a decade-long ascent to financial security needs a mate who sees the value in that journey, not one demanding immediate luxury. The Passport Bros phenomenon, with a 30% year-on-year increase since 2020, reflects this: men averaging $150K annually (like Conclave members) seek global partners who align with their vision, where ratios favor male choice. Stateside, the surveillance of brothers in Rio and Cartagena by Black women—tailing them to beaches or posing as locals—signals a reactive scramble, but not a strategic pivot to match this vision.
Wilson and Tartt’s faith-based, emotive push for marriage ignores these dynamics, framing Black men’s autonomy as a failing rather than a response to ineligibility. Their silence on B. Simone’s downfall is deafening. Once a brash influencer who sneered at “9-to-5 so and sos” on Nick Cannon’s show in 2020, declaring only entrepreneurs with “CEO status” could match her fast-paced grind, she’s now a shadow of that swagger. Fast forward to June 2025, and her “Let’s Try This Again” podcast reveals a tearful meltdown: finances depleted, liquid assets tied up in her floundering LTTA app, and a humiliating downgrade from Bloomingdale’s to H&M. Social media erupts with schadenfreude—fans mock her past million-dollar months shrinking to $10K, her plagiarism scandal haunting her “manifestation” brand, and her salty fallout with friend Shekinah over shared struggles. This isn’t just humbling; it’s a crash-landing from her anti-struggle love pedestal, where 9-to-5 brothers she dismissed could’ve offered the stability she now craves. Her woes expose the burden on aspirational brothers to “do Black Love for the culture”—sacrificing years to build wealth, only to face partners who shun the grind, driving the Black divorce rate sky-high, with money cited as the top reason (15 divorces per 1,000 marriages in 2019).
Dr. Umar Johnson, a figure often at odds with my views, has repeatedly echoed this critique across his platforms, from YouTube rants to Instagram Lives, asserting that too many Black women reject “struggle love” in favor of instant success. His take, while divisive, aligns with the reality B. Simone embodies—prioritizing flashy entrepreneurship over the steady grind of men like those in the Conclave. This raises a pointed question for our brothers Wilson and Tartt: how are we to build this “generational wealth” when Black America is shot through with Black women like B. Simone, who spurn the very partners needed for long-term stability? Their narrative of marriage as a cure-all crumbles when the foundation—shared sacrifice and vision—erodes under such mismatches.
The Black Manosphere Conclave is addressing this head-on with an array of high-tech solutions that, Inshallah, will be launching in 2026. Built on real-time surveys from our conclave brothers and targeting HENRYs ($75K+ after taxes), our focus will be on a “fit, feminine, and friendly” (3F) standard and a “no kids” filter for those who have serious intentions towards marriage or longer term relationships, which per our most recent exit surveys show, over 80% of conclave brothers desire. Admittedly - and sadly - these high standards excludes many Black American women—where obesity and single-parent households dominate—pushing our efforts toward global talent. The aforementioned Houston Conclave 2024 exit survey, refined with X intel, will pinpoint preferences, ensuring brothers find mates who share their vision. With five marriages in two years, all to women on the African continent I might add, the Conclave’s model proves this works—scaling that success could redefine Black mating. B. Simone’s saga warns that rejecting “struggle love” and stable men leaves a void no asset can fill.
Critics may cry misogyny, but the data speaks: eligibility requires mutual fit, not unilateral demand. The conclave’s private funding shields it from outside pressure, focusing on results—marriages, stability, legacy. For blue-collar men, this is a lifeline to partners who value their sacrifice, not their current paycheck. Wilson and Tartt could learn from this: marriage isn’t a cure-all when the foundation—shared vision and compatibility—is absent. B. Simone’s tears over H&M, not struggle, underscore the need for a new approach.
I invite you to the Miami 2025 gathering (September 5-7) to see this vision unfold. Bring your data, your dreams, and your willingness to sacrifice for a future that works. The desert circling ends here—let’s build something that lasts.
Sincerely,
Mumia Obsidian Ali
Chief Innovations Officer
Black Manosphere Conclave
www.blackmanosphere.com
REFERENCES
- U.S. Census Bureau (2020). Population Estimates.
- OkCupid (2014). Dating Data Analysis.
- Harvard Longitudinal Study on Assortative Mating (ongoing).
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (2023). Obesity Data.
- Reddit Discussions on Black Men Dating (2023).
- Freakonomics (2022). “Why Did You Marry That Person?”
- The Root (2025). “Why Black Internet Has Had Enough of B. Simone’s Antics.”
- Ebony (2025). “B. Simone’s Internet Rise and Fall.”
- Daily Mail (2025). “Actress Ridiculed After Crying That She Has to Shop at H&M.”
- Los Angeles Times (2025). “B. Simone Swaps Bloomingdale’s for H&M on Way to Her ‘Legacy.’”
#bsimone #jasonwilson #dralduantartt #strugglelove #marriage #dating #relationships #blacklove #bla